The good the bad and the ugly

                                    ~The beauty of life is to fight in a difficult situation.  

It has been too log since I written on here so since I am having a good day today I figured an update was overdue. It has been a roller coaster the past two week, so a lot to update everyone on. 

The good is that I only 6 more radiation treatments...and I keep telling myself I think I can.. I think I can ..I think I can every time I go and I do it and now we are almost done. I love my radiation therapists, they are the best, so even though the machine is EVIL they make it fast and easy. I am literally in and out in 15-20 minutes and they are always playing some sort of fun music to distract me. They also are great and fit me in if I am having a bad day and cannot wait until the end of the day for my appointment. All in all they take good care of me and it helps a ton.

The bad is that each treatment brings on new side effects and unfortunately nothing seems to gets better. This past week was the first week I couldn't go to work. I went in Monday and left early, went to radiation and then I felt really bad. I started having this weird uncontrollable shaking in the upper body. I wasn't cold and this wasn't a side effect we had been told about so after calling the on call GI-Oncologist we decided it would be best to go to the ER. 

This is where the ugly starts. I will never go visit MD Anderson's ER ever again. They are AMAZING with what they do and I have only had great experiences with the people but this was on aspect they could definitely improve on.  We got there at around 7:30pm...waited about 3 hours before I got called into Triage, and by this time the shaking had all but subsided but I still felt horrible, so they told me they needed blood work done and then they would proceed. Another 2 hours later i am getting blood draw...and by this time the bottom part of the ER was closing so they moved us upstairs to another waiting room. Finally a little bit later we got seen by the doctor there. She said I needed IV fluids, but they were still waiting on my blood work to see what else, so I got moved into a room. This is where they ugly starts b/c my nurse was prob. the worst nurse I have ever had. It took her over and hour to start my IV and when she did she busted a vein but the fluid was going in so we decided to just keep t where it was b/c I did not want to waste another vein. Within the next few hours I had magnesium, saline, antibiotics, and nausea meds, infused as well as took some potassium pills. basically my electrolytes were all messed up, especially my sodium. I am not sure if they thought infusing me at 10 times the usual speed would make me feel better but it did just the opposite causing some sort of adverse reaction where I couldn't stop couching and could breath and was horribly nauseous. When this happened the nurse freaked out and instead of getting the doctor right away froze. It wasn't until my Dad screamed at her to get the doctor that she came back to reality and went out to get the doctor. Once she came in, and they decreased the saline infusion after 30 minutes or so I was breathing ok and doing much better. I almost insisted on getting another nurse at this point but knew the end was near so sucked it up. If you know me all I am not a complainer and am always happy go-lucky but this nurse just brought out the bad in me. I am not sure how she still has a job. Either way after another blood test my electrolytes were good enough for the doctor to agree to let me be discharged as long as I promised to drink more. She wanted to admit me but truthfully after the experience I had just had all I wanted to was go home to my own bed, so I was very insistent. So after 12 hours of hell I was going home and was so relieved and happy. I will be getting IV fluids twice a week to take some of the pressure to hydrate off me, which is nice. 

This whole experience took a lot out of me and it took me a few days to really feel back to normal...if you can even call how I feel nowadays normal, but being home is where I belong. A lot of people have asked what they could do to help with everything and unfortunately now until the radiation is done going out is just too difficult for me, but visitors are always welcome..movies and or games are always a good distraction. Also if you are available to give me rides places, I am sure that would help give my Mom a break from doing it all. Even though she is a strong and amazing woman even she needs a break now and then, even if she would never admit it. Also if you have ideas/recipes for salty dinners please share. I continue to be amazed by all of my friends and family and the love I am surrounded by. I appreciate every gesture big and small, and they all make me smile, and smiling and laughing has proven to be the best medicine.

Weirdest cravings thus far (all of which I haven't eaten in forever):
1. Pringles (I ate a whole carton in 2 days)
2. Chicken McNuggets from McDonalds (great source of sodium)
3. Oreos at midnight
4. Pizza bagel from Einstein's bagels
5. Sausage and cheese kolaches (not a new craving but I ate three in one sitting, so that's a new record)